Being in the midst of domestic violence or emotional abuse is
the most depressing state to be in. It pulls you down, zaps you of your energy, to a point where one usually feels immobolized.
It is a place where many feel there is no hope. I want to offer you hope. I want to offer you some words that might help you.
I want to give you resources to find more help with your situation so you can be free.
The first thing to do in a situation like this is make sure you
are safe. If you feel threatened in anyway I strongly suggest you get out. At the very least tell someone what is happening
or call one of the domestic violence hot lines and get some advice. Sometimes it is not easy to just walk out and in that
situation it is best to get advice from a professional at a domestic violence hotline or a womens group. There is a link below,
but you can also check your yellow pages for more information.
It isn't easy when a person continuously brings us down to just
pick ourselves up. The important thing to remember is that detaching from the bad feelings is an important first step. Detaching
from the abuser is the best way to start feeling some hope. Don't put any importance on the abusive words that are used against
you. Know in your heart that you are a worthwhile creation of God who is deserving of love, not abuse. If there is an alcoholic
involved I strongly suggest Al-anon for you and AA for the alcoholic. These 12 step programs are a life saver. The link is
listed below as well.
I just want you to know there is always hope. Contact one of
the websites listed and find answers. Find some peace and find the life you deserve.
A few guidelines to help ease the mistrust, humiliation, pain
and suffering of victims from any kind of violent acts, sexual abuse, domestic violence, rape, and incest. Also
guidelines for people who have suffered emotional abuse.
1. Know in your heart that we are all subject to sin,
even parents, therapists, coaches, husbands, wives, priests, and respected friends. People make horrible mistakes. This
is something I learned the hard way.
2. Know that forgiveness is an act of self-love. It frees us from bitterness,
hatred and resentment, therefore, allowing room to heal. Forgiving the person that hurt you allows for love to enter your
heart, replacing the hateful fearful feelings with loving ones, so you can start the hearling process.This does not mean you
have to be a victim to the person or that you don't need to seek justice. It simply means that forgiveness will free you from
the bitterness. By all means seek justice from those who harmed you and do not continue to be victimized.
that the feelings of unworthiness, despair and depression are only temporary feelings. You are loved by God and you are worthy
of Gods love, support and healing. The same love that God used to create the moon, the sun, the planets and the stars is the
same love God has for you. You are precious to God and He wants you to stay in His love.
4. Know that God did not
betray you in any way shape or form, man did. God does not want to lose any of His sheep. God wants us all to Trust in Him,
regardless of our circumstances in life. God cannot stop the bad from happening in our lives because He gives us
all free-will. Some of us use this free-will to harm others. God, however, can help us heal. He can help us get out. He can
help us be free. God works through other people and seeking help will give you the means to allow God to help you, because
we are all children of God and those good people in the world want to help make it a better world to be in.
Whenever I am afraid,I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word). In God I have put my trust, I will not
fear. What can flesh do to me?
5. Know that there are support groups that can help. There are hundreds of support
groups for domestic violence, clergy sexual abuse, discriminations and the list goes on and on. There are resources listed
6. Know that there is a hidden lesson in all the misery. Look for the good to emerge from the tragic event.
Maybe you will one day help others in similar circumstances and offer them hope when you have healed. Just know that there
is a reason for everything that happens in life, and turn the bad situation into a positive one, by helping others get over
their own sorrow.
7. Know that love conquers all fear. Pray for God's divine love to heal and strengthen you. God's
love is the most powerful weapon against evil in this world. Think loving, positive, happy thoughts. The more you think in
a positive way, the more your life will move in a positive direction.
"As you think, so shall you be."
that we are all created for a purpose in life. Find your purpose for being here. Do something creative to break out of the
depression. Writing, art, meditating, sculpting,singing, music, lecturing or gardening. Whatever you love doing, do it.
Finding a creative outlet will help you feel better, become more positive and help you find answers to your problems. A nice
creative outlet will lead you to your "purpose in life", which is much grander than being a "victim." We are all created for
a reason, a purpose that will somehow serve God. Look for that purpose in your prayers and meditations. Be a survivor
of dreams not a victim of circumstances.
9. And know that God wants us to pray for our enemies.
us in Luke 6 27-28
"But I say to you who hear. Love your enemies do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse
you, and pray for those who spitefully use you."
Mother Teresa knew Jesus intimately and she said,
"Suffering, pain, sorrow, humiliation, feelings of loneliness,
are nothing but the kiss of Jesus, a sign that you have come so close that He can kiss you." Remember these words when you
Peace be with you!
You do not have to tolerate any kind of abuse. Contact information
below will give you resources to help you. Please if you are in any danger, or there is any violence against you, get out.
Contact a friend, family member, local shelter, or neighbor. DO NOT LIVE IN SILENCE. SILENCE IS A FRIEND TO THE ABUSER. TELL
SOMEONE YOU TRUST WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Please contact me anytime you need a friend.
National domestic violence website
Help Victims of Domestic Violence
WOMENS LAW - Gives valuable information on your legal rights
FAITHTRUST INSTITUTE - DOMESTIC, CLERGY, SEXUAL ABUSE
STOP VIOLENCE - Great site for resourcs on hate crimes and violent crimes
US DEPT OF JUSTICE - OFFICE ON VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
AA (Alcoholics Anonyomous) 12 step fellowship that CAN HELP
Al-Anon/Alateen for families affected by Alcoholism
VIOLENCE/ABUSE WEBSITE-GREAT SIGHT FOR RESOURCES ON MANY DIFFERENT SOCIAL PROBLEMS. GREAT FOR TEENAGERS TOO.
Teen Advice On-Line website. Great peer support for teams.